Tangled Web We Weave, When First We Deceive
by contessa.ellisande
Summary: CHAPTER 3 IS UP! His heart torn by the love of his life, Nathan Scott is seeking ways to soothe his hurting soul and at the same time, avenge his hurt. With the help of Rachel, his faithful sidekick, and with Brooke’s words of wisdom, Nathan is on his pat
1. Linger

**OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE, WHEN FIRST WE PRACTISE TO DECEIVE! – Sir Walter Scott.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the Tree Hill characters or any of the songs used in the chapters.

**Keep in mind that this is only the first chapter and that I still need to introduce and give history and background to the story, but it will eventually be a Naley fic ) Enjoy and review! **

**CHAPTER 1**

**LINGER**

_**Coz I'm feeling lost, when I'm in your arms, the reasons are gone, for why I was holding on to you.**_

"Nathan! Come down for breakfast!"

_**I tried so hard, to be the one, I don't like who I've become.**_

"I'll be down in a sec!"

_**Won't keep my mouth shut anymore, I've had my share of closing doors.**_

Taking one last look at himself in the mirror, the dark-haired boy grabbed the remote control from the top of his drawer and slowly, but roughly turned off the music, creating a strange quietness in his room. For a long minute, he just stared off into space, twisting the remote control with his strong hands.

"Nathan!"

He didn't answer his mother this time but instead walked over to his night-stand where a carefully framed picture was neatly placed right beside his bed-lamp. It was a picture of him from two years back, with a curly blonde-haired girl, both in their Raven uniforms, smiling triumphantly after having winning a game.

_Peyton Sawyer; the love of his life. _

He turned away from the picture, mixed feelings and emotions threatening to sweep him away into the hole of dark depression where he had once been forced to fall into, and looked at the NBA calendar hanging on one side of his room.

Twenty-sixth of October; the day it had all begun, the day it had all ended. A neat circle had been painstakingly drawn around the date and Nathan felt the emotions the he had felt on that same date a year ago when everything was torn away from him. She had simply passed him a note during English, with the lyrics of a song written in a paper filled with the dark, gloomy drawings that made up who she is, and just like that, it had ended. He had tried to talk to her afterwards, had tried to beg, but she never gave him a chance. He had watched her go, walking the way Peyton Sawyer had always had, into the welcoming arms of his half-brother, Lucas Scott. He had never realized how much he could hate a person until that day when he was forced to see the girl he had so very much loved, walked unhesitatingly into the embrace of another boy, a boy that he had disliked ever since he could remember. But in that instant, his dislike was greatly transformed into pure hatred and until now, he had never let go of his personal grudge against his half-brother.

He had disliked Lucas, it was true, but he had never wanted to do anything to the guy. But Lucas had made it personal, and Nathan knew that he had to get even.

Try as he might, Nathan could not understand how Peyton could do something like that not only to him, but also to her best friend Brooke Davis. Lucas and Brooke had been dating, not as long as he and Peyton had, but long enough. And for Peyton to turn around and steal her best friend's boyfriend like that was beyond him. To be fair, Brooke and Lucas were on a break at the time the whole mess was happening, but it was still a horrible thing to do. To him, and this view was supported and voiced loudly by Brooke, it was just the same as stealing and stabbing your friend in the back.

"NATHAN!"

"In a minute!"

Nathan walked over to his drawer once more and put the remote back to its original position. Ever since that unfair break-up, on the twenty-sixth day of every month, he had listened to the song that Peyton had uncaringly written, to try to understand, just a little, what had went wrong. But try as hard as he could, he could not figure it out. Peyton had never bothered to explain and he had stopped trying a while back.

He thought he would give it another try when Lucas and Peyton broke up six months after they had gotten together, but again, she didn't give him a chance. Every time she saw him coming, she immediately turned and walked the other way. He couldn't and still can't figure out what the hell goes through her mind everyday. He never understood her, but it didn't mean that he didn't care, because he did and _still_ did care about her. But she did not let him, and a big part of who he was today, of who he had become, was largely because of her. He had got out of the relationship a changed man. Not for the better, he knew, but for the worse. He had become what everyone thought that Dan Scott's son would be; an egoistic individual fleeting from one relationship to another.

"NATHAN! Last call!"

Sighing, Nathan made his way out his room, grabbing his school bag on the way, and roughly closed the door behind him; the sheer force of it rattled his night-stand causing the bittersweet photo to fall flat against the surface.

_**I really need to hear how great I am, coz I can't even get up out of bed, now say it like you mean it (it doesn't matter how you really feel), sing it back softly…oh…you've got to be strong, and I've been empty for oh so long. **_

Long, sleek fingers crawled against his back and made its way to the black headphone Nathan was currently using during lunch break. With the headphones pulled off, Nathan was exposed to the sound and the fray of the students in his school, and it irritated him. He turned around to look at the person who had dared to approach him in such a manner and was confronted by a pair of confident brown eyes that he knew oh so well.

"Rachel," he said flatly.

"Naaathan," she chirped.

She put one side of the headphone against her ear and gave Nathan a sidelong look.

"Jimmy Eat World? Seriously? Where's the Wutang clan?"

"It's the twenty sixth, now give it here," Nathan said as he quickly grabbed the headphone off her and roughly dumped it in his school bag.

Not fazed by Nathan's reaction, Rachel took a seat beside him and bit the apple that Nathan was holding. While she chewed the apple in her mouth, her eyes took in all the people that were sitting with Nathan; practically, almost the whole of the basketball team. Swallowing the apple remains, Rachel snatched the rest of the apple from Nathan and continued to eat it in the midst of all the basketball boys.

If any other girl had done what Rachel had just did, with the exception of Peyton, Nathan would have instantly gotten up and left, and maybe throw in a few curses in between. But this was _Rachel_, the red-headed girl who had helped him during the first few difficult weeks after his distressing break up. For many nights she had kept him company, making his body betray what he was truly feeling inside, but though this had been so, he had sinfully enjoyed it. At the time, he had despised her, had despised himself, but he took her in nonetheless. Rachel knew that at that time he was very vulnerable, would simply break if one thing went wrong, but she stubbornly fought for what she wanted until Nathan could not resist her any longer.

She believed that she was the cure for Nathan's break-up and surprisingly, in time Nathan found out that she was right. After the countless meaningless nights, the pain in his heart began to ebb away and his heart had slowly become empty. He had thought that Rachel wanted something from him in return, something like commitment, but yet again to his surprise, she wanted nothing of the sort. When he had tried to talk about it with her after one of those nights, she just turned around to look up at him from his bed and said,

"Have you heard of the term, friends with benefits?"

Just like that, she had relieved him of the responsibility of his actions. And though he never voiced it out loud, from the deepest of his heart, he was thankful that she had been there during those hard times when he had needed someone to just simply be there for him. After one year of benefiting each other, they had become great friends, and knew everything about the other.

"Apart from me, who are you doing?" Rachel asked casually, in between of her chewing.

She talked to him as if no one else was there. And he didn't care. It was Rachel after all.

"Kenzie," Nathan answered a matter-of-factly. "But, I'm getting tired of her. She's too needy. I think she's starting to think I want in."

Rachel looked at him and said, "I heard you're good."

Seeing the smirk starting to form on his face, she quickly added, "Not in bed you moron, I think I'm very capable of judging that myself, but in getting close to a girl. They say even if you were not the hottest guy in the basketball team, they still would want to be with you. No new girl you have targeted would listen to your previous toy. They just wouldn't believe. They are always sure that you've changed. Show me how you do it, I was spared the bullshit back in the day, you see."

The smirk still came on his face. "You spared me the need."

"True." Throwing the core to Tim who was sitting right across from her and who was eavesdropping on their conversation, Rachel stood up and dumped her bag on Nathan's lap.

Nathan looked at her questioningly.

"Toilet," Rachel informed and left.

"Chuck the core in the bin Tim," Nathan said. "Stop looking at it like an idiot."

Nathan watched his friend made his way to the bin and was taken aback when he suddenly saw Lucas walking together with Brooke. They were talking to each other, even laughing. Had she forgiven him for getting together with Peyton? Nathan knew that Brooke had forgiven Peyton a few months after Peyton and Lucas had broken up, and he did know that she had _not_ forgiven Lucas. But had she forgiven him now? He didn't think that she would what with all the drama that had ensued after the break-up, but it looked like that maybe she had.

Nathan's eyes narrowed when he saw Lucas brush a strand of hair away from Brooke's face. He felt that Lucas had gotten off easy. All the anger and all the hatred that Nathan had kept inside for so long were starting to stir into life. It angered him that he had not done anything to the guy a year after his break-up with Peyton. He had been tempted so many times during the first few days to beat the guy to a pulp, but he didn't, for Peyton's sake. And after the two had broken up, the anger was somehow already subdued by Rachel. But this, seeing him together again with the girl that Nathan knew Lucas had terribly hurt, was just too much. It was the last straw. It wasn't his business, he knew, it even had nothing to do with him, but Nathan knew that it was his turn to make it personal.

Because he was thinking so hard and was so focused on the two people across the courtyard, Nathan didn't notice Rachel was back until she tapped him on the shoulder.

"What the hell are you staring at?"

"What?" Nathan asked stupidly as he turned to look at her.

"Ugh, whatever. Anyway, now that you're done with Kenzie, soon to be over or whatever, who's your next victim?"

Nathan smirked and unhesitatingly answered her.

"Brooke Davis."

**_If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade. I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude, It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything. I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you. So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?_**

**_But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you. You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha. Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,  
Do you have to let it linger? The Cranberries. _**

**SONGS:**

The Veronicas – Mouth Shut.

Jimmy Eat World – Over.

The Cranberries – Linger.

**Till the next chapter! I urge all of you to review ) Feedback is vital to keep me motivated. **


	2. Heavily Broken

**OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE, WHEN FIRST WE PRACTISE TO DECEIVE! – Sir Walter Scott.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the Tree Hill characters or the songs used in the chapters.

**It will eventually be a Naley fic guys! Enjoy and review!**

**CHAPTER 2**

**HEAVILY BROKEN**

Tightening her long light-brown ponytail, Haley James stared at the reflection of her face in the mirror of the school's toilet. She softly massaged her sore neck, ignoring all the other girls who were in there with her, and for the first time she realized how tired she looked. Splashing a bit of water on her face, Haley straightened herself out and turned to go out of the toilet and out of the noise that all the perky girls were deafeningly making. As she was grabbing her bag, she was roughly pushed aside to make way for the tall red-headed girl who, without apologizing or losing a stride, confidently walked out of the girl's room.

Knowing it was one of the cheerleaders of the Ravens' basketball team, Haley grimaced and quickly made her way out. The afternoon breeze caressed her face as she walked across the school's courtyard, unnoticed by everyone around her. She saw all the different cliques spread out in different places, and suddenly felt very lonely.

Lucas Scott, her one true best friend, had drifted apart from her, though they still get together every now and then. But ever since he had been accepted by the school's basketball team, nothing had ever been the same; he was always busy with practices and was always kept occupied by the cheerleaders who vied for his attention. So it was no surprise to Haley when Lucas did not notice her as he walked past her with Brooke. Haley wasn't even surprised that Lucas and Brooke were walking let alone talking to each other again. She knew that Brooke would crack sooner or later; she was head over heels in love with the guy after all.

Feeling out of place, she was about to return to the tutor center, the one place where she felt most comfortable in, when her name was suddenly called out.

"HALEY!"

Haley turned around to find the owner of the voice and spotted Fede, one of her students, a member of the basketball team, sitting amidst all the other players, grinning at her. She also saw the red-headed cheerleader who had pushed her in the toilet, laughing and talking with the star player of the team, Nathan Scott.

"Hales!"

Startled, Haley realized that she had been standing still and staring at the basketball team. Blushing furiously and shamed by her own reaction, Haley walked over to Fede who was still grinning his impish smile at her.

"Hey Fede, how did you think you did in the trigonometry test?"

"Alright, I guess, but _you _on the other hand, looked rather stress out during it. Here, have a seat Hales."

Seeing the unsure look on her face, Fede added, "It's okay, we don't bite."

Haley knew that it would be rude if she refused him so she casually sat down on the empty seat beside him, ignoring the stupid grins on all the other player's faces.

"I was just tired I guess, I didn't get much sleep last night, had a lot of things to do."

"You need to loosen up Hales, relax a bit. Why don't you let me take you out for dinner tonight, and you can unwind then?"

Haley gave him a short smile and shrugged his question away. He had been asking her out for a date for a long time, long enough to show that he was in fact, genuine but Haley still couldn't bring herself to trust him. She didn't and could never believe that a member of the basketball team could ever be interested in a girl like her; they probably had a stupid bet going on to see whether Fede could nail her. But despite her suspicions, she still taught the guy because he really needed her help. He had never tried to force her to do anything she didn't want, so she thought that he was pretty decent.

The other guys resumed their conversation and Fede joined in, sometimes trying to include her also. But she knew she didn't fit with these guys so she didn't really try to be involved in what they were talking about. As she was about to stand up and leave, she heard pieces of the conversation that Nathan and red-headed cheerleader were having behind her.

"Yes Rachel, I'm sure." She heard Nathan say.

"Finally, Nathan. I thought you'd never do it. I thought you would have come up with this idea a long time ago. Taking Brooke away from Lucas? That's brilliant! Just the kind of thing that Lucas deserves. And Peyton will be so jealous."

"Leave Peyton out of it. She wouldn't be, believe me."

"Oh Nathan, you are so clueless about these kind of things. Yes, Peyton broke up with you. But I know that she would be grinding her teeth if Brooke sleeps with you. It's the law of nature."

"You're fine with the way things are with us."

"I am one of a kind. And anyway-,"

The rest of what Rachel had to say, Haley could not hear for at that time the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch break.

Standing up quickly, Haley turned and was just about to leave to ponder on the things she had just heard when once again, somebody carelessly pushed her aside, this time sending her to the ground.

Haley looked up to see the pusher, and saw Nathan's expressionless face staring down at her, and something inside her moved. There was something sad in those dark eyes, something that reached inside her heart. His eyes were cold, but at the same time vulnerable and her heart suddenly went to him. She felt two hands she guessed to be Fede's, helping her up from behind, while she and Nathan were still staring at each other.

"Nathan, next time, watch it," Fede said once Haley was on her two feet again.

Tearing his eyes away from her, Nathan glared at his teammate. As he was opening his mouth to say something, Rachel placed one of her sleek hands on his back, halting him.

"_Next_ time, make sure she doesn't sit here. She doesn't belong," Rachel said haughtily and together, with her hand on his back, she and Nathan arrogantly walked away.

Brooke twirled her long brown hair around her finger as she pretended to pay attention in her last period for the day. Time seemed to drag on and would not release her from the slow torture of keeping her away from Lucas. She had finally decided to forgive him for all the hurt that he had put her through, and had planned to just be friends with him. But last night, after finally really talking to him once more, she fell in love with him all over again; she had forgotten how charming he could be or how easily he could make her feel special.

And now she was really confused.

Brooke turned around in her seat and stole a look at the love of her life; Lucas was jotting down notes in his book and this normal, typical scene warmed Brooke's heart. As her eyes softened, Lucas unexpectedly looked up, taking Brooke by surprise. He flashed her that warm affectionate smile that had always been just for her and her heart lifted. Maybe, after all the drama, there was still hope for her, for them. Smiling in return, Brooke turned back to the front, but not before she caught Peyton looking at the two of them, seeing the moment that Brooke and Lucas had just shared. Knowing this, Brooke felt the anger and the sadness that were not new to her, resurfacing. After all, how could her own best friend and her boyfriend do something so hurtful to her? With this thought in mind, Brooke began to think, for what seemed like the hundredth time, that maybe Lucas and she was a bad idea in any case.

She felt the tears creeping up behind her eyelids as she remembered the day Peyton and Lucas had gotten together; it was so unexpected by her! She knew that Peyton was drifting away from Nathan at the time, but never in her wildest dream did Brooke thought that Peyton would turn around and stab her back by stealing her boyfriend when Peyton knew perfectly well what Lucas had and still meant to her. Sure, Lucas and she weren't exactly on the best of terms during the time, but that wasn't any reason for Peyton to take him away from her. There _is _no such reason to excuse that kind of behaviour.

Blinking her tears away, Brooke tried to pay attention to what the teacher was saying to keep her mind off the dilemma that never stopped plaguing her. Once the teacher turned to write on the white board, Brooke felt a paper ball hit the back of her head. Furious, she turned around to find the culprit and saw Rachel, biting her pen and smiling at her the same time.

"What?!" Brooke heatedly whispered.

Still smiling, Rachel pointed to the paper ball on the floor underneath Brooke's chair.

Irritated, Brooke snatched the paper ball and quickly unfolded it.

_Potential new boy toy; Nathan Scott. He's into you. _

Brooke looked up from the paper and lifted one of her eyebrows as she stared at Rachel, who smiled and winked at her. Unbelieving what Rachel had written on the scrappy paper, Brooke turned in her chair once more, saw one of the tutor girls staring, Lucas's friend or something, to look at the boy sitting two seats behind Peyton.

He was a lot better than he had been a year ago; she would know since she was practically in the same state as he was. They both had healed at the same pace so she knew that really, he was not over Peyton at all; he was in love with Peyton as much as she was in love with Lucas and a love like theirs could not simply go away, no matter how long it had been. By this, Brooke knew that what Rachel was saying was total crap.

Feeling her eyes on him, Nathan looked up and for a split second, he looked at Brooke as if he was unsure about something, but that moment of hesitation only lasted for one small second. He smiled his stupid, cocky smile so quickly that Brooke was uncertain herself whether he had that moment of hesitation or not.

Not knowing whether to smile or to wipe that overconfident look off his face, Brooke turned back around, again seeing the tutor girl looking her way who happened to be sitting beside her. Haley, Brooke remembered.

"What, Tutor Girl?!"

Before Haley could answer, the bell rang and everyone immediately stood up and started to talk to each other. This seemed to snap Haley into focus and she hastily got up along with everybody else, and quickly left the room.

Brooke noticed that Lucas was trying to make his way towards her but bumped into Peyton along the way. The two shared an awkward moment which Nathan did not fail to see and Brooke felt really tired all of a sudden.

She was spent and totally broken inside and she could not handle Lucas, or Peyton, or whoever else at that particular moment.

Grabbing her bag, Brooke swiftly left the classroom, passed Haley along the way and was almost out of the school when her name was loudly called out. She turned around for what seemed like the tenth time that day, and saw Nathan running after her, saw Rachel smiling from the doorway and watched Nathan carelessly push Haley aside until he was finally standing in front of her.

"What, Nathan?"

"Let me walk you out and we can talk then."

Her refusal was on the tip of her tongue, but at that moment, she saw Lucas walking out with Peyton. Lucas looked at her and a guilty look crept over his face, the same guilty look that she had seen on his face many times before within the past year.

"Yeah, sure."

Together, Brooke and Nathan walked out of the school, with Lucas and Peyton silently watching, with Rachel knowingly observing and with Haley, as she got up from the floor, sighing after them.

**_Everyday I sit here waiting, everyday just seems so long, and now I've had enough of all the hating. Do we even care? It's so unfair. Any day it'll all be over, everyday there's nothing new and now I just try to find some hope to try and hold onto, but it starts again. It'll never end._**

**_I'm heavily broken and I don't know what to do. Can't you see that I'm choking? And I can't even move. When there's nothing left to say, what can you do? I'm heavily broken and there's nothing I can do._**

**_Almost giving up on trying, almost heading for a fall and now my mind is screaming out, I've gotta keep on fighting but then again it doesn't end. The Veronicas. _**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it…pleaseee review…it _is _vital to keep me motivated! ) Till the next chapter!! **


	3. They Weren't There

**OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE, WHEN FIRST WE PRACTISE TO DECEIVE! – Sir Walter Scott.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Tree Hill characters or the songs used in the story … I wish I did though. ) Enjoy! And Review. **

**CHAPTER 3**

**THEY WEREN'T THERE**

Brooke sat alone in the corner of the exquisite Italian restaurant that Nathan had cockily chosen for their so-called first 'date'. She couldn't believe that she had actually agreed to such an absurd idea but seeing Lucas and Peyton walking together like that had really set her going. The only thing that she wanted to do at the time was to inflict as much pain as she could to the two so that they could feel at least for once what it felt to be her, and the only thing that she could think of at that moment was to walk out of the school with Nathan. Once they were out in the parking lot, Nathan was so persuasive and she was so tired with everything that she had said yes to get rid of him. Sure, she could have cancelled it once she had calmed herself, but a part of her wanted to know what Nathan was about. So there she was, sitting in the corner of the fancy restaurant, playing with her drink, waiting for Nathan to arrive.

While waiting, Brooke caught a glimpse of herself in someone else's pocket mirror and she used this chance to study her own image in the few seconds that it was opened; her hair was pulled back into a simple, yet elegant ponytail, her make-up was flawless and she was wearing a vintage yet stylish top that she had gotten not so long ago. She was not ugly and her personality wasn't that awful but yet Lucas had left her and her best friend had thrown away their years of friendship so that they both could be together, leading to them hurt her in the most effective way. And until then, she could not understand why; it was not the feelings that she didn't understood but she didn't understand the way that they had chosen to handle the whole fiasco.

Her train of thoughts was disrupted when Nathan finally arrived at the table looking as hot as ever in his neat shirt and loose jeans. He sat across from her, flashed his arrogant smile and called the waiter so that the two of them could order their dinner. Once that was done and out of the way, he leaned closer across the table and studied her with his mouth twitched into a half-smile.

Brooke, in turn, studied him also and noticed all the pain behind the cocky mask that Nathan had put over his face. Despite him sitting across from her, confident and smiling, she _felt _his pain as if it was her own. She felt his need to do something, something that could make it all go away, something to sooth their hurting souls. Brooke knew that she was somehow part of the something that Nathan needed to do in order to ease a bit of his pain, and she wanted to find out what it was.

"So, Nathan Scott…"

"Brooke Davis…who would have thought we would be sitting here together?"

Brooke smiled casually.

"You, obviously."

He smiled. It was starting to become a game of who could smile the most.

For a few seconds, none of them said anything; they were both unsure as to what to say. The two didn't have anything common and had never spent more than a few minutes together, even back in the olden days when it was all Peyton and Nathan, Brooke and Lucas. And now, to be thrown together like this, unexpected by Brooke at first, they didn't have enough preparations to at least pretend that they knew each other. Well, Brooke didn't anyway, but she thought that Nathan really should have, but it looked like he had no preparations either. She was starting to realize that it was all on a short-notice, that it was all spontaneous.

"So, Nathan…what are you doing here with me? Am I the next girl you're going to toy with?"

"No, where did-,"

"Oh spare it Nathan. You haven't even ended your so-called relationship with Kenzie and _don't_ even get me started on your '_close' _friendship with Rachel, not to mention Trisha, Cassie, Hilary…and you know I _could_ go on with the names of the girls in my squad that you have screwed over."

Taken aback, Nathan didn't say anything for a while.

"And yet, you're here."

Brooke smiled seductively. It was time to play the temptress card.

"Did I object to it?"

Nathan laughed out loud and leaned even closer to grab Brooke's slim hands.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I do this, would you?"

His face inched closer to hers and before Brooke could utter an objection or move away to avert what she knew was about to happen, she felt his much-wanted lips on hers and was immediately lost in it, fascinated by Nathan Scott's infamous kiss. His lips were warm, welcoming even, but yet, it was hard, passionless and without feeling. It was _that _aspect of the kiss that Brooke was enthralled in, that made her kiss him back with fervor. She was curious and wanted to know _more _… just more of the man that could kiss in such a way without repulsing the receiver.

Apparently, there was more to Nathan Scott than she could have possibly imagined.

Locked in that way, they didn't notice the waitress who had come to serve their food but as she was leaving, Brooke caught a glimpse of golden curly hair that reminded her so much of Peyton. Nathan caught the appearance of the disappearing lock of hair too and immediately pulled away from Brooke and looked at the waitress who was walking back into the kitchen in such a way that so did not remind Brooke of Peyton. She was sashaying to impress and Peyton _never_ sashayed.

Brooke pulled her eyes away from the waitress and looked at Nathan who was still staring, even after the waitress had disappeared behind the kitchen door and saw him slowly catch his breath. His brash confidence was gone and Brooke realized that the Nathan Scott that she had always known was not the one who was sitting in front of her. This unexpected show of vulnerability was enough for Brooke to know exactly what Nathan was about and for the first time ever in her life, Brooke felt a sense of closeness with Nathan that she had never felt with anyone before; they were both hurting and still holding on to a past that Brooke was beginning to think could never be re-created, no matter how much she or Nathan wanted it.

He turned to look at her and there were no more false pretenses on his face. He tried to gather himself back together but couldn't. He tried to say something but no words came out.

He was opened and exposed … he knew that she knew.

"You forgave him," Nathan said hoarsely. "Why?"

Brooke felt she could cry right then and there; she understood his pain and his need to avenge his hurt…_their _hurt.

"Because despite everything, I love him…I love him more than I should."

"And that makes what he did okay?"

"No it doesn't, it makes it worse."

Nathan looked at her so helplessly, so much like a little boy being denied his sweets that she just wanted to reach out and make him understand that it was okay to let go…that it was okay to let go of the pain and forgive. She _needed_ to make him understand, lest he destroys himself and the people around him in the long run. She needed to save him from their pain.

"Would you hold it against Peyton forever?"

He didn't answer, and Brooke knew at that instant that he had already forgiven _her_. It was Lucas that he had a personal vendetta for.

"It takes two, Nathan. If you can forgive her, then you can forgive him too. Just like the way I did."

Seeming to have gathered his self back together again, Nathan's features hardened and he sat up in his chair.

"You love him and you love her. You had an obligation to try, and you succeeded. I had my obligation to forgive, and I did. But with him, I have no obligation to try."

Cold and distant, Nathan began to cut up his steak. Brooke shuddered and knew that the Nathan Scott that _she _knew was back…and was sitting in front of her, picking at his food.

Oh Lucas, Brooke silently thought to herself. It was supposed to be you...you were supposed to be sitting here with me, accompanying me...dating me. Not your hurting brother.

Brooke looked away from Nathan and watched the people walking outside the restaurant; umbrellas open to shelter them from the pouring rain. She kept wishing to see Lucas walking past, but just like it had been for a long time, he was never there.

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The parting of his date was pathetic, at best. After his little break-down, his little lose of self control, it was impossible to continue on with his plan; he knew it was not going to work once Brooke knew of his ulterior motive unless she was willing to carry out the whole thing together with him.

He needn't to ask. He knew she wouldn't.

And so, the night ended in silence from both parts. She tried to talk, but he shut her out. He didn't need to hear anything from her. She had become useless to him, and he didn't need a liability. He couldn't have one if he wanted to take Lucas down.

Having reached his home, Nathan quickly parked his car in his driveway and made his way inside his home, passing Dan along the way without so much of a glance of acknowledgement, and into his room where he could just lie down on his bed and forget his troubles, if only for a few hours. But instead of walking into an empty room, he found Rachel, in one of her decent pajamas, reading a magazine on his bed.

Nathan was glad she was there; it was better to come home to _this_ then to come home, yet again, to an empty, cold room. She was the only thing normal and steady in his life, something that gave him a sense of familiarity, something that his home and family fail to give him. And he felt good that she was there, felt good that she had _always _been there. Here was something that truly belonged in his life.

Feeling his presence in the room, Rachel looked up from her reading of Cosmo and arched one of her eyebrows inquiringly. Nathan loved it when she looked like she did then; no make-up, her red hair loosely tied into a ponytail, and wearing her Spongebob pajamas. To him it was Rachel, perfected.

"It…it didn't go as I…or rather…_we_ had planned," Nathan answered the unspoken question. They knew each other well enough to know each others thoughts.

Closing her magazine and joyfully sitting up, she leaned forward.

"At least you tried. What happened? Oh but wait, before you get to it, I want to let you know that Chris Keller is in town."

Half-way unbuttoning his shirt, Nathan looked at Rachel, this time it was his eyebrow that was arched up in question.

And Rachel knew what he was silently asking her. "Oh come on, Nate! Chris Keller? We met him at the Alcove in New York, when you made me drive there with you so you could check out Jimmy Eat World live, exactly on the twenty-sixth? Don't tell me you've seriously forgotten who he is? You guys hit it off straight away…you were both lame and shallow at the time. I was embarrassed being with you guys then. So…sad."

Nathan grabbed some clean clothes from his wardrobe as he tried to remember his journey to Alcove. He was pretty wasted at the club…that was to be expected. He did sort of remember meeting a guy there.

"Spiky hair, nose sort of red like a clown's…speaks in the third person?"

"I don't know about the nose, the alcohol must have been playing tricks on you, but either than that, yeah…it's all Chris. Anyway, I remember you telling him to look you up whenever he comes to Tree Hill, you told him about Tric after all. Seriously, don't know what you were thinking promoting your blondie's club, but well, he's here. Most likely going to play there. And he wants to see you; I think he wants you to do him a favor as payment for the many beers that he had bought for you in New York. Apparently, your reputation precedes you. Girl problem I think. He wants somebody in our school."

"Wants?" Nathan asked as he grabbed his towel from his chair.

Rachel shrugged. "Wants, likes, loves…whatever! Well, I just told him to drop by at school tomorrow."

Not replying, Nathan, with his towel and clean clothes, walked to his bathroom, preparing to take a shower.

"Nate, wait! What happened? Why was it a disaster? What did you guys talk about?"

Slightly turning around, Nathan answered. "Not much. Just a whole lot of bullshit."

With that, Nathan left Rachel alone in her room, idle to her own twisted but yet, wily thoughts and thought of Peyton. He was supposed to spend his idle nights with her instead of Rachel, but…she was never there.

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The heavy rain incessantly continued to rush at the windows of Peyton's room creating a rhythmic sound that for some reason had always made Peyton feel safe and protected. Drying her hair with a white towel, Peyton walked out of the bathroom and into the gloominess of her room that she called her sanctuary.

She was dressed in her shorts and a white tank top and she walked over to her window and placed her fingertips on it, following the path of the tiny rain drops, her eyes a mirror of what she was feeling inside. She stared outside her window and at the dark sky that covered the whole of Tree Hill and sighed.

She was tired. So very tired.

She was tired of doing all the things she hated, the things that brought pain to all the people around her. But no matter how hard she tried to not do it, the harder it became for her to succeed. She knew that she had terribly hurt Brooke, her childhood best friend, but as much as Peyton didn't want to hurt her, there was nothing she could do. There really was nothing.

And there was Nathan. She knew that she had unfairly broken up with him, had totally crushed his heart into pieces, but despite him being in love with her, he didn't understand her, he didn't know who she truly was. Not in the way that Lucas did. No, no one understood the way Lucas did.

And that was why she began to feel the weight of the world on her shoulders again. She was starting to feel the way she did back when she realized that she was in love with her best friend's boyfriend; the confusion, the jealousy, the helplessness of knowing that there was not a goddamn thing she could do to _not _feel it. The hate that she had for herself for being such a back-stabbing, uncaring friend and the resentment that she felt for herself when she took Lucas away from Brooke…all the while knowing that this was what she really wanted, what she really needed. No matter what other people say.

Peyton was beginning to feel it all over again because now, she had started to realize that Lucas beyond doubt, wanted to get back together with Brooke…that he had forgotten what they had, short as it was. And now she hated Brooke for being the only girl that Lucas wanted to be with, she hated Brooke because _she_ was not the one.

Peyton could clearly remember the day when she had her moment of revelation; when she knew for sure, that she was not the girl who had a place in Lucas's heart.

The stick had turned blue a few days before she had told him, and she had had a few days to process the whole thing in her mind, had practiced in her head how to handle every possible scenario that could come to pass after she had decided to tell him. She remembered feeling scared but at the same time, excited. She was young, that was true, but she had thought that she was carrying Lucas's child! How could she not be excited? She had thought that she was carrying a life that she and Lucas had lovingly created together and though it was scary, it was…exhilarating.

Of course, Peyton didn't expect Lucas to be thrilled. It was a big deal after all; their life wouldn't be the same after the arrival of their baby but no matter what she had then expected, it was definitely _not _the reaction that she had gotten from him that day.

His face had changed; it was not revulsion, that she knew, but it was close. He was quiet, she expected that, but she could tell from his face that it had not been her or the baby that he was thinking about, it had been Brooke. His face had lost all hope, all life. Once she had broken the news to him, he had thought that…this was it. He never could go back with Brooke, he could never undo what he had done, and he could never get a second chance. He had realized that he had made a mistake.

He had his moment of revelation then too; Peyton was _not _the one. And Peyton could see it all written on his face.

She had been very upset when she realized this, after all...who wouldn't be? Who wouldn't feel crushed when they found out that the love of their life, did not want to be with them? Yes, she _was _crushed. But Peyton thought once the baby comes, he would be different, that there was still hope for the two of them to be happy together.

But it turned out it was just a false alarm. She had not been pregnant. Peyton had not been relieved; she had been scared because then she knew that she had to let him go.

It crushed her even more when she could not see any traces of sadness on his face when she had ended things with him. It killed her that she had only seen relief.

Oh people can judge, she had thought, they can judge her if they dared. They can say things about her, things that probably were not far from the truth, but they weren't there. They weren't there when Lucas had told her how he felt, wrong as it was. They weren't there when he had swept her off her feet. They weren't there when she had realized that Lucas was the one.

Pulling away from the window, Peyton turned to put on some music. Once the sound of the piano had filled her room, Peyton leaned against her wall and closed her eyes.

Lucas was not here, and he would never be here again.

As the singer started to sing _her _song, Peyton slid down the wall and cried.

**_You breathed infinity into my world, and time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl. We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night. And you said, "Wait for me we'll fly the wind, we'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him."_**

_**But oh now my world is at your feet; I was lost and I was found, but I was alive and now I've drowned. So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song so they can tell me I was wrong.**_

**_But they weren't there beneath your stare, and they weren't stripped till they were bare of any bindings from the world outside that room. And they weren't taken by the hand, and led through fields of naked land, where any preconceived ideas were blown away so I couldn't say "no." _Missy Higgins.**

A/N: It might be a while before I update…midterms are coming up and well, I need to prepare. So, if any of you are interested in being part of my mailing list in which I will e-mail you whenever I update next, then say so in your reviews and provide me with your e-mails. I assure you, no one will be forgotten.

So…wish me luck! Hopefully the next chapter will be posted sometime in December; most likely at the end. Keep on reading! Tell me what you think! Give me feeeedback :).


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